For the uninitiated, “game” refers to a set of skills designed to make men more attractive to the opposite sex. This includes learning to drop the nice guy act, avoiding conversation mistakes, becoming more self-confident and proactive and so on. While “game” used to refer solely to pick-up artists out for a one-night stand with a beautiful woman, it has since been expanded for married men who aim to maintain and improve the “spark” that might be flickering out.
From what little I’ve watched of Srugim, I’d say that a major problem of all of the religious men is that they are complete nice guys, or loser “betas” (Avri, the secular professor, is the religious equivalent of the “romance novel” fantasy and is immaterial for this discussion). They have little personality or gumption, they follow and never take charge. I have a hunch that many, many religious men could stand learning to become alphas or at least greater betas.
This is not just an issue of getting to the hupa. The divorce plague is hitting the MO community pretty hard and getting worse, and the Charedi families will not be far behind. Furthermore, if the stats are anything like that in the general population, most divorces are not the extreme cases of abuse, neglect or irresponsibility you hear about in the news. Most divorces in the US are initiated by the woman (Myth #10 in the link), and often because of a sense of dissatisfaction or boredom or a desire for “self-fulfillment”, or disputes over finances and children. I doubt we’re much different.
While I will spend some time discussing the female side of the ledger in another post, I believe men also need to be aware that maintaining attraction is an important component to marriage. You don’t need to become Brad Pitt, but you do need to improve your packaging and keep it in good working order.
As a final thought, though, is there a religious aspect to game? Is there a way for guys to appear more “sexy” or attractive to women through mitzvot or religious behavior?
What do you say, ladies, have you ever found that the way a guy shuckles or learns is attractive? Comment below.