I guess it was inevitable that someone would make a counter-argument (in Hebrew) to all the complaints about first-night jitters in the religious community. What’s funny is that it’s made by an ex-religious girl…
So here’s the jist of her argument:
The secular community doesn’t have it any better. Religious brides feel tension on their wedding night? Well, many secular girls also feel tense and awkward on their “first time”. Furthermore, in the secular community, sex is separate from “making love” and is merely a physical act of pleasure, no different from a good meal or drink. At least in the religious community, sex is still seen as something sublime and mysterious. Religious couples are no less capable of having good sex (she brings an interesting example of a married women with hot lingerie), but by them it is not commodified.
I would add that the “scene” in bachelorhood city is no less difficult in the secular world than the religious one. The competition is ruthless, with both men and women aiming for alphas and leaving “nice guys” in the dust.
That said, I still stand by my original belief that parents and/or family should provide sex-ed answers. Brides and grooms should not go into their marriage totally unprepared, and the more help and encouragement they have beforehand, the better that part of their marriage will be afterward.